Pitching to a Narcissist: How to Be Heard When There’s Only One Voice That Matters
You’ve done the work.
You’ve got the strategy, the insight, the answer.
On this project, you’re the authority.
All you need is a pen for some dotted-line signing.
But what if one of the key players on the client side isn’t about to be out-geniused by anyone—and carries the only pen that matters?
And the opportunity you’ve worked so hard to create starts floating away on some big-head’s hot air?
A few years back, at my wit’s end from being outsmarted by one-too-many self-absorbed C-Suiters, I read Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy T. Behary.
She advised that the best thing to do when confronted by a narcissist is to run—don’t walk—to the nearest exit.
They’re black belts in leaving you hollow and defeated.
She said there are few challenges in psychotherapy greater than treating the narcissist.
I’d argue the same for the ad game.
I’ve snapped many an imaginary pencil trying to help some self-important CMO see the win in an idea that wasn’t theirs.
Thanks for reading The No-Sell Sales Pitch Playbook! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
But snapped pencils are banned at Pitch Camp, and running to the nearest exit isn’t always an option.
So here’s a No-Sell Sales Pitch approach for tackling every great idea’s tormentor.
First—how do you know you're dealing with one?
You don’t always get the pre-brief on who’s who in the room. So, here’s a quick working field guide:
Signs you’re pitching to a narcissist:
They interrupt—early and often—with a better story, a bigger win, or a different take.
They hijack the brief. You’re solving for X, they suddenly want Y—but only because Y was their idea.
They exaggerate their expertise in everything, even things way outside their lane.
They need to be the smartest voice in the room—even if they haven’t read the deck.
They don’t ask questions—they make statements in disguise.
They can’t tolerate ambiguity… unless they created it. Certainty is only good if it came from them.
They bring charisma, dominance, a dash of vision—undercut by a compulsive need to control the narrative and be the hero of the story.
Step One: Accept that this isn’t about you—it has to be about them.
Narcissists filter everything through one lens: How does this make me look?
Your data?
Fine—but does it serve their position?
Your big insight?
Nice—but not if it overshadows theirs.
The classic trap? Pitching like you’re in a room full of peers.
But in this case, you’re not pitching ideas.
You’re pitching status reinforcement.
No-Sell Sales Pitch Move #1: Let them think it’s their idea
This isn’t manipulation. It’s preservation.
You’re not tricking them—you’re guiding your idea safely through their need to be the smartest person in the room.
Instead of:
“We think the solution is this.”
Try:
“Building on what you flagged last time, this option accelerates that trajectory.”
If it feels like their idea growing legs—you’ve got a chance.
If it feels like yours pushing theirs aside? Get ready for passive-aggressive landmines.
No-Sell Sales Pitch Move #2: Aim for “That’s right,” not “You’re right.”
Narcissists aren’t looking to align.
They’re looking to dominate.
So don’t pitch your logic—anchor your idea to their identity.
“You’ve always backed bold moves.”
“This is exactly the kind of leadership you showed last quarter.”
“This feels like a continuation of the thinking you’ve already put in play.”
This isn’t flattery. It’s a Trojan horse.
You’re not appealing to their better nature—you’re appealing to their preferred narrative.
No-Sell Sales Pitch Move #3: Don’t challenge. Invite co-authorship.
Forget about cornering them with logic or pushing them toward a better way.
They’ll sniff that challenge and swat it like a fly.
Instead, give them a way to attach themselves to the success.
Try:
“There’s something here that I think only you can shape.”
This flips their ego into an asset—and might even get them invested in helping your idea land.
Psychotherapy Tip: You’re Talking to a Very Clever Five-Year-Old
A narcissist in the workplace is often charming, polished, and armed with executive language.
But emotionally? You’re often dealing with an approval-hungry five-year-old who needs to win—at everything.
And you know what? Others in the room know it, too.
They’ve seen this dance before. They’ll be watching how you handle it.
Go too smooth or sycophantic, and you risk losing the respect of the group.
They’ll clock you as someone who can’t be trusted either.
So, here’s the line to walk:
Without theatrics or condescension, speak to them like you would a five-year-old: With calm, patience, and clarity they can build on.
Manage, don’t manipulate.
Contain, don’t compete.
Hold your ground—but hold it lightly.
Thanks for reading The No-Sell Sales Pitch Playbook! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Final thought: You’re not pitching the idea. You’re pitching the experience of being right.
Because narcissists don’t want to be part of the winning idea.
They want to be the reason it won.
If you can let them hold that belief—without giving away your dignity—
you’ve done more than pitch well.
You’ve survived the impossible room.
And maybe, just maybe, walked out with your idea intact.